Telling a love-struck boy to “just talk to her” isn’t helpful. Talk to her about what? Bragging or babbling or telling long-winded stories is talking but isn’t much fun for the listener. Instead of talking, have a conversation with her. It’s a skill with a few rules and requires just a bit of practice:
- Start with small talk before going into deeper conversation. An easy topic is something you two have in common such as the event or class you’re attending, or what you’re eating or drinking.
- Be kind and don’t complain.
- Take your turn and don’t talk at length about yourself. You want to build on the previous comments of the other person.
- If what you’re saying generates no questions or comments, shut up.
- Don’t one-up and don’t overshare—sounds desperate.